LOVE LETTERS

Foundations & Failsafes

A friend once complimented me, “you have nice nails and you ruck,” meaning I was both fashionable and "girly" but could also kick butt at some pretty strange sounding workouts.

It has been awhile since I’ve written. I blame the cold, grey winter slump where inspiration has taken a bit of a hibernation. There’s also that last article of my memorable and emotional ascent to the top of Mt. Washington, NH that took a lot of heart and soul to write.

A tough act to follow!

I don’t want to publish fluff just to hit a weekly article goal, I want to say what’s really important. As someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time browsing the internet and reading articles, I value the time my readers spend here. My goal is to share stories that can motivate and inspire others by telling my own story.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been honing in my workout routine like many well intentioned New Years resolutioners. Coincidentally, 2021 was the first year in maybe ever that I made no resolutions of my own. I’ve tossed around the idea of writing a workout themed article titled something like, “Harnessing Athletic Potential for the Non-Athlete,” but this just made me laugh a little. It felt a bit phony, or stuffy -- strict? I’m not a personal trainer, and I don’t consider myself to be an athlete. Honestly, I’m kind of lazy...sometimes. Though, a lot of people wouldn’t agree with that self-assessment. In fact, they’re probably laughing as they read it.

Last year, I set a goal of hiking 365 miles as I joked at becoming a “professional hiker” to stay busy during the pandemic. I made it to 265 miles by the end of 2020 and embraced this “failure” by upping my commitment to 500 miles in 2021* (you can follow my progress towards 500 miles live on the Wildly Sarah homepage!). This year, still in a world of uncertainty, I’m focusing on long distance hiking and backpacking - two things that I know will be possible, come what may. Coincidentally, also something that I (surprisingly) haven’t taken the dive into...yet. I’ve had the intention of getting into backpacking for about 5 years now, but for one reason or another it has always been pushed to the backburner, never coming to fruition.

With a few exciting plans in motion, now comes the fun: training! I often hear hikers suggest that the best training for hiking or backpacking is to do just that -- to hike. I even saw (and shared) a meme of seated and bundled up Bernie Sanders in his famous mittens titled, “me waiting for backpacking season”. Not this hiking girl -- hold my victory beer! For one, I live in Pittsburgh where there are plenty of hills to tackle but no true mountains in sight. Hiking the hills just isn’t going to replicate the experience and endurance required for a hike in the mountains. I want to enjoy hiking even the most difficult trails and I’ve seen how miserable tackling a trail can be when you’re not in shape for it.

I’ve personally been a lot of different fitness levels throughout my adult years, and had a lot of different “body happiness” (akin to body image) experiences throughout my life. In 2012, a little over a year after a crushing breakup I was the heaviest weight I’ve ever been. I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii with friends for the first time and decided to bravely take the plunge and live up the experience with the purchase of a bikini or two. This took a lot of guts!

If you’ve ever been to Hawaii, maybe you’ve shared the experience that you pretty much live in your swimsuit for the week or however long. You get comfortable. It was towards the end of the week on a hike up Diamond Head on Oahu and I was leading the pack. A friend chose this moment to comment, from behind, “see, this just goes to show, you can’t tell by looking at someone how physically fit they are”.

Yeah. So that happened. I was mortified and crushed. As soon as I got home I bought a $10 per month gym membership that I still have to this day, although I prefer to work out outside whenever possible. These types of comments are never okay, and definitely not cool. But I’m glad that I heard it because it pushed me to correct something that I was already unhappy with.

Flash forward 10 years and I’m training for backpacking by rucking, aka swiftly moving from point A to B while carrying a weighted pack. Backpacking was also my goal when I first rucked back in fall 2018, and I purchased my dual purpose pack from REI, opting for a backpacking design over a rucksack. This isn’t an article about rucking -- but for me it feels like a most similar experience to backpacking, while also being a wildly efficient form of cardio. I’m rarely going to go on a high mile “training” hike, but being able to knock out 12 miles rucking in three hours or less seems equivalent.

I’ve tried and fell off course on a lot of different self-assigned workout plans throughout the years. Then, on January 2nd, 2017 I started a daily yoga journey that is still going strong now over four years later. You can read my article on my experiences and lessons learned from keeping up an extended daily yoga practice, but what it brought to my workout ethic was patience, commitment, accountability, and mind over matter.

I constantly apply the foundations of yoga to all other workouts and training, from breath techniques, to mantras (“Find the Ease,” “I Can, I Will, I Choose”), accepting and leaning into discomfort, and even visualization techniques (hello, imaginary friends/support system rucking alongside me!). Whatever your workout goals and motivations, my biggest piece of advice would be to include variety and don’t make it terrible. There’s a time and place to push yourself and attain “beastmode,” but it is a balance with self care and kindness. Let’s set the foundation first.

A friend once told me that to start to get into running, you should “run one mile each day, because it doesn’t suck so much that you give up. Then, once you’re good with one mile, move up to two and so on”. I always think back to this, especially on lower energy days where instead of thinking “I can’t,” instead I’m asking myself, “what can I do?”. If I feel like “I can’t” run or do cardio, instead maybe I focus on yoga, core or strength training. Maybe I just take Portland for an epic walk -- he always loves that.

Looking Mean Post Ruck!

I hate the phrase, “I can’t”. I try to eliminate it from my vocabulary as much as possible. Last week I had an 8 mile ruck looming over my head. The pinnacle of my workout week and I’ll admit I was just scared of it. As much as I love Top Gun and will quote and reference it to everyone’s chagrin, I really don’t have “the need for speed”...or distance running. I fully feared it, and had put it off...I can’t. Even though I’ve done it before.

Then, I had to think about what I was actually afraid of. Not meeting my time expectations for my pace. What if I get too tired and get stranded somewhere? Ha! This has NEVER happened to me in my life. What if I couldn’t push myself into the “fight” headspace I needed to complete the challenge? I gave myself a reality check and a bit of self love, I was being my own harshest critic and bully. To slow down was not to fail. To walk the entire distance was not to fail. To not attempt it because I was afraid? Well...I think it’s okay if that qualifies as a fail. Funny thing, I actually chose that day to test out a new GPS app, Strava, and learned that my average time is almost a full minute slower than what my Fitbit was telling me! I didn’t truly run 8 miles, but rather 6.84 miles that day! I felt elated, then defeated, but just allowed myself to just be done.

I worked in the service industry for years, and one of the most thought provoking conversations I ever had with a customer was about two years ago when I said something along the lines of, “I won’t set out to do something unless I know that I won’t fail”. This guy had completed a thru hike on Vancouver Island’s West Coast Trail and found my comment interesting and proceeded to tell me the story of his hike, the conditions, obstacles and the people he met along the way.

He told me a parable-like story of a man who was truly not in trail shape, but was hiking the trail because it was his partner’s dream. He hiked and hiked and each day was more taxing for him than the other more seasoned hikers. He admitted that the journey was not that enjoyable for him but he delighted in his partner’s happiness. At one of the rest stops, a market on the island, my storyteller learned that the man had been airlifted off the island after pushing his body past its limit, resulting in a medical emergency.

Obviously, this was a shocking end to the story. Wilderness emergencies seem horrifying to me, but they are an unfortunate reality. My storyteller asked me, “so, did he fail?”. He then presented the idea that, in a way, he had succeeded even more than the other hikers who had successfully completed their thru hikes. He had taken his body to its absolute limit (and he survived).

I often think back to this story told by the wise patron. It brings up a lot of questions for me like knowing your own limits and assessing the abilities of those around you. Those instincts, considerations and responsibilities grew after attending a NOLS Wilderness First Aid course. But, if you focus solely on redefining the concept of failure and our personal fear of it, I think it holds a very powerful lesson. Can you ever really fail if you TRY?

When I climbed Mt. Washington, the prospect of “failure” was an almost certainty. The possibility of a summit hadn’t seemed like it was in the cards, but that didn’t change the energy of making an attempt. We had been ready to face the elements and let them force a turn around, but it was the “try” that allowed for an unexpected victory.

If you’ve made it to the end of this unintentionally long-winded love letter...I send you a virtual high five (or a hug, if you need one)! What do you do to stay fit and prepare for your outdoor hobbies and adventures? What topics would be interesting to read about in a future “love letter”? I’d love to start a conversation based on your comments and questions. Until next time, Live Wildly!

*Since I'm super serious about creating rules for myself, 500 miles hiked applies to hiking miles only. Miles rucked, neighborhood dog walks, etc. obviously do not apply! :)